Sunday, August 19, 2007

T.I.A.




“Sometimes I wonder, will God ever forgive us for we have done to each other? But then I look around and I realize, God left this place a long time ago”. 200 000 child soldiers. A life for a stone. Civil war for years. This is Africa. I saw it for the 7th time last night. I teared for the 7thtime. How do I go to bed every night with the promise of a beautiful day ahead? How do I go about my life knowing people are losing theirs? I have never seen any film that has left me feeling so helpless. I don’t understand why it means so much to me. Why it hurts every time I watch it. Why I watch it again.

I talk about changing the world. That’s it. I talk. Children die of starvation. I shed a tear. Then pass the newspaper to someone else. Massacres happen all over. I scream outrage. Until the next commercial comes. Life moves on in an instant. She said, “people back home wouldn’t buy a ring if they knew it cost someone their hand”. Did the diamond rates fall? It’s pointed out in the film that we are led to believe that diamonds are rare. But who are we kidding? What has changed? Did we even flinch? All we manage is a sigh, and say ‘what is the world coming to?’

You know that something has hit you when the credits have been rolling for the last 10 minutes and you haven’t even flinched. You continue to stare at the screen, even you if you’re not looking. The last two hours flash before your eyes in bits and pieces. You just want to get on a rooftop and scream. And cry. And scream again. Sorry. I keep forgetting that this is supposed to be about me. I generalize too much. It’s almost like I want to hurt in order to feel happy. I caught myself doing it again. Grabbing the skin on my chest that covers my heart, almost as if I was trying to tear it off. It’s been more than a few times. Life just gives me these moments to feel alive.

Look at the photograph. Now look closer. In this scene, he is standing in front of a standing ovation that’s waiting to hear him speak for the world, for the voice of those suffering from the chaos and bloodshed. What do his eyes say? What are they trying to tell us? They look like they have been crying for generations. So much that the trail of the tears on the cheeks has just become natural. Just another facial feature. Believe it or not, he was not tearing in this scene. I noticed this when I saw the film for the third time. I couldn’t digest it. I just couldn’t.

“My heart tells me that people are inherently good. My experience suggests otherwise. What about you Mr Archer? In your long career as a, journalist, would you say that people are mostly good?”

“No. I’d say they’re just people”.

And the world dies one life at a time

Thursday, August 2, 2007